This Week’s Challenge: Put down what is NOT yours to carry
So many times we want to love our family and friends so deeply that we think that to truly care for them, we need to carry every one of their burdens, including the mental loads that come with their struggles. As a parent, we often feel that we are only as happy as our saddest child. We find ourselves living under the assumption that we have to set the perfect example, give the best advice, and fix every problem our friends and family might have.
According to Jess Connolly in Tired of Being Tired, she states, “If I took this assumption as truth and believed that loving my friends equated to fixing all their problems and thinking about them constantly, I’d actually have two issues. The first is that I’d be completely mentally exhausted and potentially unable to cope with my own life. The second is that, ultimately, my friends might feel not like they are loved, but like they are just projects for me to fix, problems for me to solve. And for every moment I would try to use my own mental energy to bring healing in their lives, they may eventually wish that I’d just sit with them and hold space for their grief”.
Step back and see if you are mentally exhausted because you are constantly thinking about others’ problems, well-being, and approval. You can still love hard, but know what is yours to carry and what is not.